I was wrong about the lecture.
The course doesn't start for another six weeks.
Until November, I will have *three* hours of class a week. That's a lot of time to fill!
My flatmate did point out that this might be a good thing, and at least then I can get the operation done and over with, without the worry of missing too many classes. She nows I'm nervous apparently. Nervous doesn't cut it - I'm fucking terrified, and trying to insist to anyone who'll listen that I want a local, as opposed to a general, anaesthetic. Got a letter today asking me to come in on the fourteenth for tests and a chat with the nursing team. Scary - but Mum says she'll try to come too.
Saw Daffodil both today and yesterday - yesterday purely by chance, but today Mum decided she wanted to give her a card and chocolates for helping seizure wise. Daffodil was chuffed. Had an appt to see the nurse and the doctor on an urgent basis yesterday, but seeing Daffodil as a normal appt on Friday so will vent everything on to her.
My dreams are getting weird again too. Shamrock keeps popping up in them - I wish she wasn't jumping into my dreams, but was actually there in real life. There's nothing I want more than to make things up. Stupid trying to mend arguments that occured two years ago.
Have been texting Hugs a lot, to no avail. Presumably busy with work or something.
Had pizza and garlic bread for tea, and shaved my legs.. Even exfoliated with my flatmate's stuff. Still feel fat and ugly as shit though. Did a zumba workout and some sit ups.
I think me and Paps have lost contact for a while too :( that hurts. I can't help but feel bad even though it's his actions that have led me to say what I did.
Anyway. I hope my bad mood hasn't depressed you too.
I do try to be positive. It's just skimming me by tonight - the boredom isn't helping.
Though I am trying to start a society for disabled students... we shall see how that goes, if it goes well that could be a very positive thing indeed.
Toodle Pip x
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